forty two

I guess I paint pictures now
Because the words don't form easy in my brain.
Maybe it's lack of sleep.
Maybe it's lack of love.
Maybe it's lack of heat,
The house is so cold these days
It almost emphasizes the fact that you're dying.
Don't act all surprised,
We all know it's coming one day or another.
Every MRI says the same thing, and there's nothing they can do.
The medicine at least slows it down, Dad said.
I didn't know how to reply,
But today I painted the way our hallway looks
Now that I can't play piano
And the clock in my head chimes too often.

And now I'm feeling nostalgic,
Because the words don't form easy in my brain,
I'm not saying all the things that hurt the most.
I can't help but wonder how you're doing
I can't help but miss your smile
I can't help but think about you every waking moment,
I can't stop it.
I can't stop the pain from forming into pictures,
Landscapes of you.