sixty nine

I'm trying not to feel lonely
I'm trying to act nice and polite
But when I weigh the pros and cons,
The "what ifs" and "what has beens",
Your face when no one else was there,
Versus your face when she arrived,
I see now
That I must not mean much to you
Anymore.
I didn't say goodbye, and I can't apologize
For your apathy and act like it was my fault,
Because it really wasn't, I'm just reciprocating the vibe for once.
What do you feel like it is?
When you stick your toes in the water, how does it feel?
Nothing but a lukewarm reflection
Of the friends we used to be, I guess.
Please remember me with a smile,
If you care to do that much,
I'm screwing up the lines I'm supposed to say,
I'll see you glancing back at yesterday