twenty seven

"They're sharing a drink called lonliness but it's better than drinking alone"

twenty six

show me your ways,
show me your ways,
i don't want to stay the same

twenty five

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

I wear this sadness like a tattoo

I can't wash off the fear like I can the saltwater out of my hair,

Here everything is close. 

The sand to my feet, the tide to the sand, the rain to the tide. 

Wind, wind, wind, grabbing at my hair, slinging umbrellas across the shoreline;

When, when, when, grabbing at my mind, slinging thoughts across my skin;

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

I'm standing at the ocean,

I'm waiting at the shoreline,

I'm letting the waves crash into me as words,

Never, never never,

Sorry, sorry, sorry,

Words don't change anything, do they?

twenty four

I saw a partial smile

Clawing at the edges of your mouth,

It spoke of pain gnawing,

Twisting at the deep parts of your soul,

But also of a partial light

At the end of the tunnel

That seems so dark when 

You think too hard,

And now I'm thinking too hard--

twenty three

Don't tell me things will be okay; 

I won't believe you.

I am sorry for my constant skepticism 

Of every blessing, 

But by the time I figure out how to treasure a moment,

It is gone. 

That's why the soundtrack to my life is entitled "brevity"

And they will throw my body in the ground with a "big hoorah"--

The only time I really appreciate things is afterwards. 

By the time I learned to listen to my mom

She drifted away,

And by drifting away I don't mean getting sick,

I mean staying sick,

Drifting in and out of mental and physical stability

And keeping her daughter and her husband on their toes

Because accidents happen,

And August 14th must have been one of them. 

She can't help it.

I guess I can help it if I cry or not, though,

So I must choose to hold in the emotion 

For a while longer while the saltwater

Stings in my mangled facade. 

I was determined to stop being angsty

And dramatic with my poetry

And my life in general,

But after a while sorrows catch up with you 

And these happened to crash land

Now. 

I am supposed to be building sandcastles,

Instead I build endurance as the tide rolls in,

While she's practically being carried across the beach,

Smiling and stumbling over her own feet

To just smell the waves,

She tells me where to find a beach towel

And i can't understand a single sentence she pieces together,

She doesn't understand that my dad is trying his hardest,

Working so hard,

Fixing her plate before his,

Helping her to the car and down the stairs,

Wrestling the pain away from her,

She doesn't understand why I am so tired all of a sudden,

She doesn't understand how I look at her and feel so deeply sad;

I don't understand either. 

I don't  understand any of it.

I am far from home tonight. 

twenty two

She knows what it's like

I see it in her eyes;

Painfully blue,

Beautifully sea-like,

I'm thankful for every mother-figure I get

twenty one

It's funny how everything tends to glow under starlight and smoke. Your hair is the color of the sparks dancing off the firecracker, my ears are ringing with the noise and the little boy calling you dude as if you were his bestest friend. The smoldering stars almost tint your voice with magic as you sing. Maybe I'm breathing in too much smoke, maybe I'm taking another sip of absolute crap just for the hell of it, maybe there's a smile on my lips, 

Maybe Fourth of July is my favorite holiday. For a few memories I forgot about everything except now. 

I wish now were infinite, because now I want to spend a while more with you. Now is a cute dress that smells like smoke and my breath blown away with the wind. Now is a chair with a cushion.

Now don't stay awake too long, although my thoughts hate to leave you there, glowing mournfully in the grass;

twenty [song prompt from em's blog heck yes]

A song you like with a color in the title: Navy Blue by the Story So Far

A song you like with a number in the title: Millions by Gerard Way

A song that reminds you of summertime: Anything Can Happen by Ellie Goulding

A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about: Gravity by Sara Bareilles

A song that needs to be played LOUD: Take a Walk by Passion Pit

A song that makes you wanna dance: ?

A song to drive to: Shiver by Coldplay

A song you never get tired of: Springsteen by Eric Church.

A song from your preteen years: The Saltwater Room by Owl City

One of your favorite 80's songs: The Boys Of Summer by Don Henley

A song you like that is a cover by another artist: I don't know, Nick sang Cancer by My Chemical Romance once, and it was beautiful. Does that count?

One of your favorite classical songs: Sous le Ciel de Paris by Jacky Terrasson

A song from the year you were born: Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears

A song that makes you think about your life: Glory Days by Roo Panes

A song that has many meanings to you: Piano Man by Billy Joel

A favorite song with a person's name in the title: Cleopatra by the Lumineers

A song that moves you forward: Desert Soul by Rend Collective

A song you think everybody should listen to: Hello My Old Heart by The Oh Hellos

A song that makes you want to fall in love: A Message by Coldplay, Song for Someone by U2, Wake Me Up by Ed Sheeran

A song that breaks your heart: Everything's An Illusion by Mayday Parade

A song by an artist with a voice that you love: Drugstore Perfume by Gerard Way

A song that reminds you of yourself: Silhouette by Owl City